Who I am

I’m ¾ geek and ¼ social butterfly.
I’m a shy, insecure, little girl who plays poker and roller hockey with the big boys.
I’m part-time stuck in high school; part time stuck in CVC.
I put on a tough exterior. I talk like I know what I’m talking about. I lead the team, I organize the events, and then I wring my hands and worry to death over the decisions that I made and what I did.
I gossip. A LOT.
I’m self-conscious.
I feign self-confidence.
I play dumb.
I lie, I cheat, I’ve stolen one or two things (with modest guilt), but then I confess all my sins to everyone who will listen. I’m a story-teller, a writer, and an entertainer, yet I hate the spotlight.
I’ve been told that I’m a “guy's girl”, and it's true.
I’m not a girly-girl, although sometimes I want to be.
I've been told that I'm "rough" (that hurt), but it's made me softer.
I've been told that I'm "condescending" (to someone who meant a lot to me), and that changed me.
I've been told that I'm a "Godsend", but it makes me feel awkward. I can't take compliments, but I love receiving them.
I’m a family person, but I spend all my time with my friends.
I'm a career girl, but I can't decide on a career.
I abhor snobbiness, but I can be a snob.
I go to parties. I stay at home in my PJs.
I live in the past, I live in nostalgia, but I worry a lot about the future.
I've never been in love, but my heart has been broken.
I have 100s of friends but I'm perpetually single.
I'm up at 2am. I have to go to sleep but I can't sleep. I'm just thinking and blogging but I don't know what I'm saying or who's reading this.